Please forgive me Jesus since I hated to call the name, Jesus“
illust = Lee Soo Jin

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After I sent my wife out for faith training I spent for one week only with my just now four years old son. During this period surprisingly I have met Jesus Christ in person who completely had satisfied the righteousness and the love of God to me.

It seemed to look happy while I had played with my son from the first start. Because of my son’s repeated lies unexpectedly to me our happy times were totally broken in pieces. At first I forgave my son for his lies and I taught him not to tell lies any more. I expected him to react honestly but unfortunately his son kept telling lies continuously. When I asked my son if he knows the man who has redeemed our sins but my son finally did not answer for that on purpose.

Finally I had to give him the rod. One blow, two blows, ten blows… so many more but he is getting more and more accustomed to lie and to be his own ways (obstinate) even about little things in himself. How can my cute and lovely son become so wicked in his hidden heart? I could do nothing but to be in a desperate situation.

When I gave him a bath I saw his hip be bruised in black and blue all over. I could not help crying while I treated him with medicines where he got hurt but while he kept smiling white and clean on his face.

I was praying to God ‘I could not find any part to beat on my son’s body … As a daddy I could not leave himself alone any more and how much would he be beated to get recovered?’ and at the same time God gave the scripture reminded in my heart “Why should you be beaten anymore? Why do you persist in rebellion? Your whole head is injured, your whole heart afflicted” (Isaiah 1:5).

We are rebelling against Jesus and we are running to the way of perish. Jesus is holding a rod of love for us but we, ourselves, don’t seem to be changed but can understand Jesus’ impatient heart for us.

While I had been in a desperate situation Jesus said, “Then, how about you? Are you not stubborn?”, and asked to me in return. Jesus flashed my heart brightly but I did not give any opportunity for my son’s choices and found myself that how stubborn I was. It was so regret but I was very happy. God wanted me to understand God’s Love with ‘Good and Evil’ fruit. When I eat the fruit of the ‘Good and Evil’ fruit God knows I will definitely dye but it was ‘Love’ since God did not block up.

We, ourselves, believe in the love of Heavenly Father and we were selected to return to him to prepare complete righteousness and love of cross gospel. God is waiting for a long period with patience and is telling words of love. God told us to consider his whips to compare with our stubborn sins and comparing and how long God shows and consider.

I was so sorry for my son that I could not flow God’s love to him. I had kneeled down for gospel and hugged my son again. Heavenly Father’s love, I shared gospel with my son and I asked for forgiveness. I confessed that I love my son. My son smiled white and clean and said “It’s OK. I will forgive.”

So now we start a new relationship with my son. It’s not the son but I have been changed. I wanted to sing scripture phrase with recitation. Before I requested to sing but I asked him for his choices. I saw he was hesitant so I sang ahead and then my son followed my singing. After that I could see a happy son singing humming. a

New start for relationships with my son

I was so happy for the grace of Lord. Jesus’ Love never fails. God shows me that he called us in faith and we should depend on the life of Jesus and we offer voluntary obedience. I will be on cross as a witness for my son and I will make a decision to look forward to only Jesus’ works.

I asked to my son if he wanted to pray to God before going to bed. My son started to pray to God to forgive his sins for himself. He also asked to God to forgive him since his son hated to call the name of Jesus at the end of pray. Jesus confirmed. ‘Really Jesus works.’ I could understand a little when God says you should be the example of love when God entrust lambs to you. The freedom which the Lord gave me, I will never change that freedom comparing whatever exists in the world.

Missionary Kwon, Hyo Suk

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